Relationships: We can't live with them and We can't live without them!

The innate need to belong drives us to connect with others to form relationships.  Building relationships with others may be the single most important thing humans do in their lifetime.  People in general are happier, healthier, and even live longer when they have strong, fulfilling relationships in their lives. Our need to connect is as fundamental as our need for food, water, and shelter.  

Sadly, as a society that is focusing on prosperity and individualism the concept of social connectedness continues to dissolve.  We no longer make time for volunteering, entertaining guests, family barbecues, growing our family, or social adventures.  Attempts to "keep up with the Jones's" depletes time for relationships.  Society in general has become less happy over the same period of time that social isolation has increased, which means suicide and depression rates are multiplying.  

Experiencing social pain -- rejection, criticism, teasing--is as real as physical pain.  Our ultimate goal in relationships is to finish the unfinished business of our childhood and become independent adults.  Often individuals in any type of relationship that has conflict appear like children fighting over territory and resources.  After time, we can even begin to forget what we are fighting about, but we don't forget how it made us feel.  These conflicts can begin to affect future relationships as the emotions are trapped in our unconscious and can be projected onto future conflicts that evoke pent up emotions.

Relationships, and the experiences we gain from relationships, help us heal, grow, and differentiate to become respectable adults that are contributing members of society.  At the center of every relationship is two individuals whether the relationship is between two lovers, two friends, two colleagues, or two family members.  Relationships come with emotions.  We must be able to communicate these emotions in order to navigate the relationship or our relationships will fail.  The presence of emotions and the intensity of these emotions affect our ability to be present in relationships. Relationships require commitment and work to move through challenges and stressors.